Why does it take time to Heal

When you are going through a rough stage in life (e.g. Mental Health Problem) I can imagine you wanting to, wave a magic wand to feel like your old self again. This is a common feeling and I have treated patients with common mental health problems who have wanted, nothing more than to feel happier again (understandable).

If this is you, you can get to that place of happiness again, but this will take time and consistency. Working and developing yourself is a process that should not be rushed and should be taken seriously and with care. When you grow you heal and this is how the process of transitioning, from the place where you are now (depressed or anxious) to the place where you want to be (happy).

For example; If you’ve been depressed for over 2 years and all you want is to feel happy, this feeling of happiness is not a common feeling for you at the moment and you may not be aware of what this feels like. Such as how you need to think, feel and behave. This will take practice and learning how to change from the person you are, to the person you want to become. Being unwell for a while you need to be able to recover in a timely manner. Everyone is different when it comes recovery, some people may take months, weeks and for other this may take years and that’s ok because you are on your own journey, finding what happiness is for you and you are not the same as others

Always remember that everything will happen in the right time, if you are working on how to become happy and you want to develop in that area, don’t stop keep going your end goal is around the corner. Don’t give up on yourself.

Thanks for reading I hope this post has inspired you all, to take time in your healing process and to not give up of this maybe a long process. Shar x

The Art of Therapy

Sometimes when you are going through a rough time, you may not have the words to speak and say how you feel, so you may decide to withdraw or isolate yourself form others.

When experiencing a Mental Health difficulty being able to express yourself can be difficult, and daunting, particularly if your trying to explain to others, when you in need of help. Sometimes verbal communication may not be enough to help get your message across because you may feel like you cannot find the right words to express how you truly feel. This is where the Art of Therapy begins.

In life there are various other ways that you can communicate non verbally to help share how you are feeling. (For example have you ever listened to a slow sad song and had someone ask, how comes our listening to such a sad song are you ok and you haven’t even said anything). Expression is subjective to each individual and you should feel comfortable in expressing yourself however it feels best to you. When you are finding it difficult to express yourself or mange how you think, feel and behave you can try some of the activities listed below and see if this may help. Being creative can also be very therapeutic, sometimes there is art in the silence or being imaginative.

Some other ways of expressing yourself and how you feel:

  • Art Therapy – Drawing, painting, culture making
  • Writing, poetry, songs, spoken words, script writing
  • Music Therapy – plating, dancing
  • Drama – Acting
  • Sign Language

My Family don’t understand my Mental Health Problem

Are families are our loved ones, who are supposed to know us best right ? But why then can we sometimes feel the need to ask ourselves “Why don’t they understand me

Sometimes when people experience a Mental Health difficulty and are unsure who to go to, they may automatically contact a loved one hoping that this person understands. If this is you, you should feel proud of yourself, this is a very brave thing to do. As other people may find this quite daunting. Now telling a loved one can be a, good thing or a wish I never said anything (kinda thing).

It’s understandable to go to people who are close to you because who knows you better, but unfortunately sometimes these people can be the ones who know the least about Mental Health Problems. Mental health is a sensitive topic and sometimes people may not know or feel comfortable to address these type of situations or even know how to provide the right support.

Not getting the right support from loved ones, you may automatically think that they don’t care or don’t want to be there for you and this can be difficult on both sides. Mental health can be difficulty to understand particularly if you haven’t experienced it for yourself or you have no background knowledge on this. However It’s important to try and understand that everyone may not understand you and that doesn’t make them a bad person and it doesn’t mean they care less about you, they just don’t have the knowledge needed to understand the best way to support you.

Have a think to yourself…If you don’t have much understanding about your Mental Health how can others know more than you. I’m not saying that your loved ones shouldn’t support you because they should by all means. The message I’m trying to convey is; sometimes the people you turn to may not have all the answers and that’s ok. That’s when the professional come out to play 😊

Thank you for reading, have you ever experienced this topic of conversation before. Would love to here from you and how you managed x Shar

We all have a Story to share

In life we all have a story to share. Whether your story is sad, scary, disturbing or embarrassing it doesn’t matter because your story, is what makes you special and unique.

Hearing other people’s story about Mental Health is what motivated me in wanting to encourage this more in others, hence why I started my business. Whether you may believe it or not, someone in this world needs to hear your story to help them heal, learn or become a stronger person. In life we grow and learn more about ourselves and other by sharing stories.

When it comes to Mental Health difficulties, often people feel hesitant, afraid or embarrassed to share their story which is totally understandable (read my post of what does it mean to be vulnerable). If this is you I am here to tell you that someone does want to listen to your story and yes this may not be everyone but if you can inspire, motivate and encourage one person in life that’s more than enough. You thinking that people don’t care about what you have to say, is your perception and sometimes our perception may not be a reality. Not only will people feel inspired by your story, but telling your story can be healing for you.

If you have a story and you feel afraid to speak because you are scared of judgement, always remember that your story is what defines you and that you are beautiful regardless of what other people may have to say about you.

We are all beautiful ❤️

Thank you for reading.


Is it Stress or Mental Health Problem

Thinking that you may have a Mental Health problem can be very distressing and confusing. Particularly if this is the first time you are having these thoughts, or even if this may not be the first time and you’ve always had an idea of this it can still be troubling.

Before I continue I will explain the difference between Mental Health and a Mental Health problem. We all have Mental Health however we don’t all suffer with a Mental Health Problem, this can be triggered by various external situations or events that happen your life.

Mental Health – Mental Health is a person’s state of emotional wellbeing. Your wellbeing is linked to your tolerance of stress levels and how you mange dealing with adversity

Mental Health Problem – Mental Health Problems refers to a range of Mental Health conditions, that can be triggered by external situations or events. When a person is finding it difficult to manage stress, or daily functioning this may result in a Mental Health Problem, which can affect your mood, thinking behaviour and how you feel physically.

Before you start to think that you have a Mental Health Problem, it’s also important to understand what stress, because chronic stress could trigger a Mental Health Problem, if not managed or treated accordingly.

Stress – Stress is a feeling you may experience of being under too much pressure.

Stress can sometimes feel like a Mental Health Problem, due to the symptoms being similar to depression and anxiety. Stress can sometimes make you feel unable to cope or manage your, thoughts, feelings and behaviour. However if you have the right tools stress can be managed.

How to identify if you are experiencing stress:

Step 1: Write down what you think is the problem

Step 2: Write down how this problem is making you feel

Step 3 : Are you able to mange this problem if you have the right tools to help you.

Step 4 : Ask yourself how long have you had this problem for (has it been longer than 6 months)

Step 5 : Don’t rush when doing this exercise, try and take you time going at a pace that is convenient to yourself.

If you feel that you are able to manage what has been causing you to feel stressed. Below is some practical problem solving tips that will hopefully help you.

How to manage stress with Problem Solving:

Step 1: Write down the problem

Step 2: list as many solutions you can think of to solve this problem (anything that comes to mind, it can be as silly as you like)

Step 3: list the pros and cons to all the solutions you have just thought of and number them form 1-(no. of solutions). With 1 being the most likely solution.

Step 4: Pick the suitable solution

Step 5: Make a plan of how you are going to utilise this solution

Step 6: Take action

Step 7: Reflect

If you have followed this steps above and believe that you are experiencing more than stress. Here are some examples of how you can maybe identify if it is more that stress. Try not to self diagnosis yourself with anything, as it is advisable to seek professional and get an assessment if you need further. However being able to identify how you are feeling is important and will help when being assessed by a professional.

How to identify if you are experiencing a possible Mental Health Problem:

(Disclaimer, I am not a Clinical Psychologist although I have qualifications within as a Therapist, I am able to assessing, providing suggestive diagnosis to patients. I am also experienced in providing treatment for low level Depression and Anxiety based on this)

– Mental Health problems, may have an impact in either of the following, how you feel physically, your thoughts and behaviour.

– Your symptoms, may cause significant clinical distress or impairment in social and occupational or other areas of functioning.

– Mental health problems generally last for a period of 6 months (this is dependent on the problem)

The 3 signs can help you identify if you may be experiencing a Mental Health problem but always seek professional advice.

Thank you for reading this post. I hope I was able to make things clear for you, in being able to identify whether you maybe experiencing stress or a Mental Health problem.

Therapist Diary – 03 – Resonate with me

The title of this post says it all, in life we are moved by people who resonate with us. I generally believe that those who are open, real and honest resonate with people the most, because they are not afraid to share their thoughts. In life we will always have a special person who resonates with us and this can be for many reasons which is subjective to everyone. Once you find that special someone who resonates with you and who is truly inspiring, allow them to take you on a journey of healing and don’t be afraid.

As a therapist / wellness coach I have soo many people who resonate with me and influence me. In life we are constantly growing and learning about, ourselves others and the world. It is ok if you take someone on this journey with you. ❤️

The happiest moments are what we share with others, find someone who you can build with and creating memories with. There is someone out there for everyone, to support, hello, guide, love, inspire, teach and so much more.

Don’t suffer alone or feel you deserve to be alone.

Thank you for reading.

Understanding my Triggers

When you have a Mental Health problem is important to identify possible triggers. Identifying triggers is not easy for most people but once having that support to help you (if needed) things can become much easier.

I am going to provide a definition of a Trigger just to ensure everyone knows what it means; Trigger : Causes something to function or activate (In the terms of mental health a trigger is something that will activate an emotion, behaviour, feeling, response causing you to feel anxious or depressed). In life there is a trigger to everything (everything happens for a reason). For example when you wake up in the morning and feel depressed or anxious, something trigger this feeling. You may say “I wake like this everyday “ which maybe true, but there is a reason why you wake up like this everything and you can identify this, which will help with the problem.

Examples of what I mean by triggers, is thinking to yourself :

  1. Why did/do I feel low today ?
  2. Why did/do I feel anxious today ?

Sometimes it can feel overwhelming trying to understand what triggers your thoughts, behaviours or feelings, below is a how to guide in order to help you identify triggers to your Mental Health.

How to identify what triggers you :

Step 1: Keep a journal for notes, when you notice a change in your thoughts, behaviour and how you feel physically.

Step 2: Think about what happened before the changes occurred, this can include, where you were, who you were with or how you felt.

Step 3 : Think about how you felt during and after the situation or event occurred.

Thank you for reading.