Mother, daughter, sister, niece, fiance, friend, cousin, Therapist, granddaughter this list can go on.

We live by so many titles, but who are we without theses titles. It seems like if you haven’t got a title then you haven’t got nothing to show for yourself. On the flip side if you have too many titles, you can almost feel pressured into living up to these titles, to make everyone proud.

Titles are just like labels and can sometimes make you feel overwhelmed with responsibility and feel almost as if you are in a box and have to conform. Otherwise your a failure or your letting someone down, colleagues, family or friends. Sometimes titles can prevent us from stepping outside of our comfort zone and realising who we truly are. In order to live life at its fullest we all know this means stepping out of our comfort zone and going against the norm.

Titles can be a distraction to take the focus of yourself and onto something else. Being so fixated on titles you can lose your self identity and feel a bit lost with you are and your purpose in this world. Sometimes we need to stop and take a step back from all of our responsibilities and think about ourselves and who we were before our titles, not getting distracted in this rat race. Although it’s easier said than done sometimes we need to press our pause button and check in with ourselves before we burn out from the many responsibilities with have.

Remember who you are and this can sometimes take time and practice, having to re learn about yourself and what makes you happy, sad, laugh etc.

When you next get a chance have some time to reflect about yourself and keep on tough with who you are as a human being, below are some things you could think about in the process.

  • What makes me smile
  • What makes me excited
  • What triggers various emotions
  • What would I be doing if I never had this title to live up to
  • What brings me peace

Never lose sight of who you truly are and be grateful for yourself and your life, find peace of mind. I hope that this post has helped you think about who you truly are and to not get to caught up on your title that you lose yourself and who you truly are as a human being.

Peace and love x Shar


Stop blaming Social Media for your Problems.

Before I begin this post I would like to start of by proving you with some definitions.

The Oxford English Dictionary definition :

Sociable : Enjoying the company of others, friendly and welcoming.

Social : A social gathering

Media : The main means of mass communication, broadcasting, publishing and internet.

Social media : Website and application that enables users to create and share content in social networking.

Networking : A group of people who keep in contact to exchange information.

Reflecting on the definition of theses words, for me it’s confusing how a social gathering is getting confused with a website of application used to share content. For many years now there has been a lot of news based on, social media damaging our society and causing problems for individuals. When did your lifestyle become a website or application to share as a means of mass communication.

I think it’s time to put this to bed, when I hear all of these stories, not for one second do I blame social media. I blame the people going on social media and looking for someone else to blame. In life it’s so easy to blame others for our own wrongdoings or insecurities and not taking into consideration the biggest cause of your problem ourselves. We need to stop looking for others to blame for things we are partaking in willingly ourselves, nobody logged into your social media account but YOU and so you need to take full responsibility of how this is making you feel.

Sometimes we need to sit back and think to ourselves what input did we have to play in this social media faze. Social media is a platform created for a reason to help the right people, perform well and elevate within their business. Think of the the people who use social media correctly and how this is benefiting them,then think about the people who are using social media incorrectly and how it’s disadvantaging them. Below is an example

Using social media correctly

  1. Making money
  2. Building target audience
  3. Elevating business
  4. Inspiring people worldwide

Using social media incorrectly

  1. Complaining about social media
  2. Comparing themselves to others
  3. Low self esteem
  4. No social life

Think about this list I’ve mentioned above and think to yourself are you using social media correctly or incorrectly and if you are using social media incorrectly how are you going to manage this. Social media can be addictive but think about what you exposing your mind to, is it helpful and is it worth it. If it’s not helping you or making you feel good, it’s not worth it and you need to remove it form your life once and for all.

Update Yourself in 2019

Do you feel like life moves so fast, like a recent post on Instagram feed. There’s a famous saying “Time waits for no man” and this is so important to remember because you could be living in 2019 but your mind is still holding onto something that happened in 2001. Learn to update yourself because;

    Time will keep going, the clock will keep ticking
    The weather will keep changing we will always experience the 4 seasons
    Technology will keep updating, new phones, new equipment.
  • When was the last time you updated yourself mentally ? OR When last did to reflect on yourself and make changes to your lifestyle ?
  • Sometimes life can be so distracting with so many things happening at once, that we forget to reflect on ourselves and instead we’re refreshing or social media feeds and updating on this. Reflecting on yourself is the key to self development and making changes, there maybe some areas in your life that you’ve been neglecting and it’s not until you, take the time to reflect on these areas that you’ll be able to know how to make changes. It’s never to late to reflect on your life and make changes. Everyday is a new day to work towards something different. You maybe feeling low, sad, upset today and that’s ok, reflect on this and try to make a plan of action to make a change for your tomorrow.

    Tips on how you can reflect on yourself

    1. Schedule a day and time to reflect on yourself
    2. Write down the areas in your life you want to reflect on this could be (work life, social life, home life, hobbies and interest, spiritual life)
    3. Write down some of your goals you and planned for this year
    4. Get a pen a paper to make some notes on your reflection
    5. On the day you’ve chosen – Start Reflecting
    6. Write down some areas of improvement based on your reflection
    7. Thank like about how your going to change
    8. Write down these changes
    9. Start Step 1 again
    10. Practice Step 1-10 and make it a habit to reflect

    I hope you all have enjoyed reading this post today, don’t forget to make time your yourself, you owe it to your future self. Thanks for reading x Shar

    Self Doubt and Mental Health difficulties

    Mental Health difficulties are different for everyone, which can be dependant on your lifestyle and upbringing. Mental health difficulties can be triggered for many different reasons, such as, transitions, stress, challenging situations, trauma the list can go on each reason is unique to each individual.

    Being able to manage you Mental Health difficulty, it’s so important that you are you honest with yourself and how you feel you can cope with what’s going on in your life at present. Mental Health difficulties can be a struggle to comprehend and get your head around and sometimes you may need help, but you may also be able to help yourself. The key to answering this question is being honest with yourself but not doubting you ability to take care of your Mind. Its ok to be scared and unsure of how your going to do this, if this is the case you can take the time to reflect on this and maybe find ways to help yourself. For some people Mental Health difficulties may make them uncomfortable and nobody likes to feel uncomfortable, however in order to get comfortable you have to feel uncomfortable.

    As previously mentioned, try and write down how your Mental health difficulty is affecting you and think of some ideas of how you can potential help yourself get through this. Also it may helpful and less stressful, to get loved ones involved if they are aware of your difficulties and together you can plan a self care programme that can help you. Alternatively if you have tried to Mange this yourself and you feel that you are unable to do this alone, maybe think about seeking professional help. Sometimes people need a helping hand when they get stuck and things become challenging. There are services out there that can help support you through these difficult times.

    Stay strong and take care of your Mind x

    I hope you enjoyed reading this post and it’s helped inspire you, in wanting to take care of your Mind. Love Shar x

    How to get back up when you’ve been feeling down

    Lately I’ve been feeling soo drained but my momentum is slowly building back up and I know I will get back to the place when I was feeling 100%. I feel motived to write this post because I feel like this is the current state that I am at in my life at the moment, so I’m writing from experience which I always do but this is fresh and based on how I’m feeling at this very moment.

    Let’s make a start…There will be some days in our lives when we are feeling low and drained, especially if you are putting to much pressure on yourself or your feeling lost in your thoughts, ruminating about things. This post will hopefully help to encourage you to get yourself back up and start over again, regardless of what day it is or what no. attempt it is. It could be attempt 199 it doesn’t matter, what matter is that you try your best.

    The first step in helping you to feel motivated which will help you find yourself again is, being able to identify what caused you to feel this way in the first place. Once you can Identify why this is, it will help you move a step further. Always pay attention to how your feeling and when you may have noticed a change in your behaviour, thoughts or feelings. There maybe many reasons why you began to feel low and that’s ok, nobody can judge you for this because we all have these moments, but take some time to identify why. Reflect back to the time when you wasn’t feeling how you are today and what you may have been doing differently. It may be years, months or even days when you noticed the change and that’s ok, identifying the cause (trigger) can help you move forward. In life we can all relapse or lapse, it’s normal it’s expected, don’t put to much pressure on yourself and take you time. You can only go as fast as you let yourself.

    The second step once you’ve identified when, why, how you got to this place is working out where you want to be and how you can motivate yourself to get there. Below are 3 tips on what I believe may help you achieve this.

    1. Write a letter to yourself

    Writing a letter to yourself can make things seems more real and current, in this letter you can include where you are now and where you wan to be in the future. It’s ok if you don’t know how your going to get there, because tomorrow is not promised for anyone, but if you plant the seed for your tomorrow and have an idea of what you want you can water your seed and help it grow. Watering your seed helps Aline your plant with the reality that it will grow and flourish regardless of what it may look like now. Writing where you are now can help things sink in and help you gain clarity of your thoughts. You may find that your not in a good place now, but have an idea of where you want to be and this will encourage you. When writing this letter take your time, don’t rush and be patient with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to write a letter. Just write what comes to your heart and what feels good to you.

    2. Write down some Positive Affirmations

    Positive affirmations are my go to, when I need that extra boost to help encourage and motivate me. When writing your positive affirmations it can be helpful to start with I AM, so your confining it to yourself and speaking it into existence. Positive affirmations should be statements that help uplift you and encourage you.

    3.Write down your Goals

    For me I believe that writing down goals helps give you a senses of direction or where you want to go and what you hope to achieve in your life. Goals help give structure to your lifestyle and most importantly help you learn more about yourself.

    I hope you have enjoyed reading these 3 steps as they have helped me, when I’ve been feeling down and hope that it can also do the same for you. I hope that this post has inspired you to feel motivated and encouraged when you may be feeling down. If you have any ideas that you want to share with me leave a comment below. Thanks for reading Shar x

    It’s ok to start over

    My previous post outlines how I’ve been lacking in my consistency in my work ethic (one day I will share why). That post has motivated me to write this post, so it came in handy. Sometimes in life we can put too much pressure on ourselves to be perfect and to achieve so much. When you write down your daily goals, you may set your mind on achieving every single goal and if your unable to achieve this, you may begin to second guess yourself and you capability. This is normal and it happens there will be some days when you cannot complete all your goals for whatever reason, be kind to your mind and don’t put to much pressure on yourself because this may impact your mental and physical wellbeing.

    This blog post is to encourage you all that it’s ok to take a break from things, find yourself and start over. Sometimes taking a break is what is needed to help get back that momentum that you need or first started with. One thing that has helped me in starting over again and not feeling upset with myself for lacking in my work ethic, is my positive affirmations. My positive affirmations is what drives me and motivates me to continue in what I’m doing. Having this affirmations are perfect for days like this, when I’m feeling mentally drained or low because it helps me remember why I started and what my focus and aim is to achieve.

    Sometimes in life you may feel low, drained and unmotivated to continue and that’s ok because you are only human and there will be days like this. But always remember to find yourself and get a back up because you don’t want to continue feeling down that it becomes difficult to find yourself again. On the other hand if things do become difficult and you can’t seem to find that motivation to help drive you my next post will hopefully encourage you to get out of this mindset.

    Thanks for reading. Shar x