How to master being ALONE

Who said below alone has a negative impact on your Mental Health… being alone makes you HAPPIER !! yes I said it HAPPIER


Update Yourself in 2019

Do you feel like life moves so fast, like a recent post on Instagram feed. There’s a famous saying “Time waits for no man” and this is so important to remember because you could be living in 2019 but your mind is still holding onto something that happened in 2001. Learn to update yourself because;

    Time will keep going, the clock will keep ticking
    The weather will keep changing we will always experience the 4 seasons
    Technology will keep updating, new phones, new equipment.
  • When was the last time you updated yourself mentally ? OR When last did to reflect on yourself and make changes to your lifestyle ?
  • Sometimes life can be so distracting with so many things happening at once, that we forget to reflect on ourselves and instead we’re refreshing or social media feeds and updating on this. Reflecting on yourself is the key to self development and making changes, there maybe some areas in your life that you’ve been neglecting and it’s not until you, take the time to reflect on these areas that you’ll be able to know how to make changes. It’s never to late to reflect on your life and make changes. Everyday is a new day to work towards something different. You maybe feeling low, sad, upset today and that’s ok, reflect on this and try to make a plan of action to make a change for your tomorrow.

    Tips on how you can reflect on yourself

    1. Schedule a day and time to reflect on yourself
    2. Write down the areas in your life you want to reflect on this could be (work life, social life, home life, hobbies and interest, spiritual life)
    3. Write down some of your goals you and planned for this year
    4. Get a pen a paper to make some notes on your reflection
    5. On the day you’ve chosen – Start Reflecting
    6. Write down some areas of improvement based on your reflection
    7. Thank like about how your going to change
    8. Write down these changes
    9. Start Step 1 again
    10. Practice Step 1-10 and make it a habit to reflect

    I hope you all have enjoyed reading this post today, don’t forget to make time your yourself, you owe it to your future self. Thanks for reading x Shar

    How to get back up when you’ve been feeling down

    Lately I’ve been feeling soo drained but my momentum is slowly building back up and I know I will get back to the place when I was feeling 100%. I feel motived to write this post because I feel like this is the current state that I am at in my life at the moment, so I’m writing from experience which I always do but this is fresh and based on how I’m feeling at this very moment.

    Let’s make a start…There will be some days in our lives when we are feeling low and drained, especially if you are putting to much pressure on yourself or your feeling lost in your thoughts, ruminating about things. This post will hopefully help to encourage you to get yourself back up and start over again, regardless of what day it is or what no. attempt it is. It could be attempt 199 it doesn’t matter, what matter is that you try your best.

    The first step in helping you to feel motivated which will help you find yourself again is, being able to identify what caused you to feel this way in the first place. Once you can Identify why this is, it will help you move a step further. Always pay attention to how your feeling and when you may have noticed a change in your behaviour, thoughts or feelings. There maybe many reasons why you began to feel low and that’s ok, nobody can judge you for this because we all have these moments, but take some time to identify why. Reflect back to the time when you wasn’t feeling how you are today and what you may have been doing differently. It may be years, months or even days when you noticed the change and that’s ok, identifying the cause (trigger) can help you move forward. In life we can all relapse or lapse, it’s normal it’s expected, don’t put to much pressure on yourself and take you time. You can only go as fast as you let yourself.

    The second step once you’ve identified when, why, how you got to this place is working out where you want to be and how you can motivate yourself to get there. Below are 3 tips on what I believe may help you achieve this.

    1. Write a letter to yourself

    Writing a letter to yourself can make things seems more real and current, in this letter you can include where you are now and where you wan to be in the future. It’s ok if you don’t know how your going to get there, because tomorrow is not promised for anyone, but if you plant the seed for your tomorrow and have an idea of what you want you can water your seed and help it grow. Watering your seed helps Aline your plant with the reality that it will grow and flourish regardless of what it may look like now. Writing where you are now can help things sink in and help you gain clarity of your thoughts. You may find that your not in a good place now, but have an idea of where you want to be and this will encourage you. When writing this letter take your time, don’t rush and be patient with yourself. There is no right or wrong way to write a letter. Just write what comes to your heart and what feels good to you.

    2. Write down some Positive Affirmations

    Positive affirmations are my go to, when I need that extra boost to help encourage and motivate me. When writing your positive affirmations it can be helpful to start with I AM, so your confining it to yourself and speaking it into existence. Positive affirmations should be statements that help uplift you and encourage you.

    3.Write down your Goals

    For me I believe that writing down goals helps give you a senses of direction or where you want to go and what you hope to achieve in your life. Goals help give structure to your lifestyle and most importantly help you learn more about yourself.

    I hope you have enjoyed reading these 3 steps as they have helped me, when I’ve been feeling down and hope that it can also do the same for you. I hope that this post has inspired you to feel motivated and encouraged when you may be feeling down. If you have any ideas that you want to share with me leave a comment below. Thanks for reading Shar x

    I want to come off my Medication

    Medication can sometimes be prescribed to patients when Mental Health problems, to help mange how they are feeling and feel able to function in their day to day lives.

    Sometimes people may be responding well to the side effects of their medication or they may feel like they have had enough of being on medication for so long. If you are one of these people and you want to stop taking medication it is advisable to speak to your General Practitioner (GP) first before coming off prescribed medication.

    It’s important to be aware that your GP should always be the first point of contact and in case of an emergency dial (999 – UK). It’s important to have the conversation with your GP about your views on your medication. Further discussing why you would like to come off medication and if they can support you with this process. Coming off medication with a immediate effect may be detrimental to your health, as this should be a process (weaning off medication) with the support form your GP.

    Please speak to your GP of you what to come off your medication. Try not to make any immediate actions before, consulting with a medical professional. I hope that this post was able to help or inspire you, in relation to seeking help for medication. Shar x

    My Mental Health is destroying my relationship

    Relationships are so important to us and we often place loved ones close to our hearts, but sometimes relationship can be difficulty to maintain, when you are suffering with a Mental Health Problem.

    Mental health problems can be very distressing and may sometimes cause people to have a negative views about, themselves, others and the world around them. It’s so important that if you are struggling, that you have the right support around you and people who can help you in times of need, although understand this maybe difficult at times. Sometimes you may notice that your Mental Health difficultly is destroying your relationship with loved ones and you may notice, that you’ve been withdrawing or isolating yourself. Depending on what the situation is communication is always helpful, sometimes others may not know how your feeling and may not know the best way to support. However if you try to communicate this with them it opens opportunities for situations to be appropriately managed.

    This doesn’t mean that you have to go around and explain to every person what’s going on with you, as this may seem very daunting. However if you try to communicate this with your close loved ones it maybe helpful for them to be aware of your situation. If you can’t find the words to speak or not sure what to say, speak form the heart and try not to worry too much how it comes out (read my post on, the art of therapy and everyone has a story).

    If you have noticed that you Mental health is destroying your relationship try speaking to someone and seeing how this goes. Let me know how it went if this is you. Thanks for reading. Shar x

    Why does it take time to Heal

    When you are going through a rough stage in life (e.g. Mental Health Problem) I can imagine you wanting to, wave a magic wand to feel like your old self again. This is a common feeling and I have treated patients with common mental health problems who have wanted, nothing more than to feel happier again (understandable).

    If this is you, you can get to that place of happiness again, but this will take time and consistency. Working and developing yourself is a process that should not be rushed and should be taken seriously and with care. When you grow you heal and this is how the process of transitioning, from the place where you are now (depressed or anxious) to the place where you want to be (happy).

    For example; If you’ve been depressed for over 2 years and all you want is to feel happy, this feeling of happiness is not a common feeling for you at the moment and you may not be aware of what this feels like. Such as how you need to think, feel and behave. This will take practice and learning how to change from the person you are, to the person you want to become. Being unwell for a while you need to be able to recover in a timely manner. Everyone is different when it comes recovery, some people may take months, weeks and for other this may take years and that’s ok because you are on your own journey, finding what happiness is for you and you are not the same as others

    Always remember that everything will happen in the right time, if you are working on how to become happy and you want to develop in that area, don’t stop keep going your end goal is around the corner. Don’t give up on yourself.

    Thanks for reading I hope this post has inspired you all, to take time in your healing process and to not give up of this maybe a long process. Shar x

    The Art of Therapy

    Sometimes when you are going through a rough time, you may not have the words to speak and say how you feel, so you may decide to withdraw or isolate yourself form others.

    When experiencing a Mental Health difficulty being able to express yourself can be difficult, and daunting, particularly if your trying to explain to others, when you in need of help. Sometimes verbal communication may not be enough to help get your message across because you may feel like you cannot find the right words to express how you truly feel. This is where the Art of Therapy begins.

    In life there are various other ways that you can communicate non verbally to help share how you are feeling. (For example have you ever listened to a slow sad song and had someone ask, how comes our listening to such a sad song are you ok and you haven’t even said anything). Expression is subjective to each individual and you should feel comfortable in expressing yourself however it feels best to you. When you are finding it difficult to express yourself or mange how you think, feel and behave you can try some of the activities listed below and see if this may help. Being creative can also be very therapeutic, sometimes there is art in the silence or being imaginative.

    Some other ways of expressing yourself and how you feel:

    • Art Therapy – Drawing, painting, culture making
    • Writing, poetry, songs, spoken words, script writing
    • Music Therapy – plating, dancing
    • Drama – Acting
    • Sign Language