Therapist Diary – 09 – If I had no followers

If you had 0 followers would you still do what you are doing today.

Being on social media can be a big distraction in life both positive and negatively depending on your interpretation, one question that I ask myself is if I had 0 followers and 0 likes and no support would I still what I’m doing today and the answer to this question is YES.

If I was asked this question a while ago I would have been reluctant and maybe of said NO but I’m so confident in my yes and that’s because what I do in my life I find so THERAPEUTIC for myself, my aim is to inspire others and motivate others but in doing so I’m also inspiring, motivating and encouraging myself. Everything I do now almost feels like a note to self which makes me feel so empowered.

So much has changed and happened in my life and I grow everyday and see changes in myself everyday which is amazing and I am so grateful with the person I’m becoming. When I reflect on my life and how far I’ve come it makes me smile and I done all of this on my own accord, motivating and encouraging myself which makes it so much more humbling and exciting for me.

My biggest goal is to travel the world and inspire millions of people sharing my message and encouraging people to build stronger minds and to never doubt themselves.

I thank you all for your support and for following my blog and I hope that I’m able to inspire you all with my post. Peace and Love ❤️ Shar x


Stop blaming Social Media for your Problems.

Before I begin this post I would like to start of by proving you with some definitions.

The Oxford English Dictionary definition :

Sociable : Enjoying the company of others, friendly and welcoming.

Social : A social gathering

Media : The main means of mass communication, broadcasting, publishing and internet.

Social media : Website and application that enables users to create and share content in social networking.

Networking : A group of people who keep in contact to exchange information.

Reflecting on the definition of theses words, for me it’s confusing how a social gathering is getting confused with a website of application used to share content. For many years now there has been a lot of news based on, social media damaging our society and causing problems for individuals. When did your lifestyle become a website or application to share as a means of mass communication.

I think it’s time to put this to bed, when I hear all of these stories, not for one second do I blame social media. I blame the people going on social media and looking for someone else to blame. In life it’s so easy to blame others for our own wrongdoings or insecurities and not taking into consideration the biggest cause of your problem ourselves. We need to stop looking for others to blame for things we are partaking in willingly ourselves, nobody logged into your social media account but YOU and so you need to take full responsibility of how this is making you feel.

Sometimes we need to sit back and think to ourselves what input did we have to play in this social media faze. Social media is a platform created for a reason to help the right people, perform well and elevate within their business. Think of the the people who use social media correctly and how this is benefiting them,then think about the people who are using social media incorrectly and how it’s disadvantaging them. Below is an example

Using social media correctly

  1. Making money
  2. Building target audience
  3. Elevating business
  4. Inspiring people worldwide

Using social media incorrectly

  1. Complaining about social media
  2. Comparing themselves to others
  3. Low self esteem
  4. No social life

Think about this list I’ve mentioned above and think to yourself are you using social media correctly or incorrectly and if you are using social media incorrectly how are you going to manage this. Social media can be addictive but think about what you exposing your mind to, is it helpful and is it worth it. If it’s not helping you or making you feel good, it’s not worth it and you need to remove it form your life once and for all.

I want to come off my Medication

Medication can sometimes be prescribed to patients when Mental Health problems, to help mange how they are feeling and feel able to function in their day to day lives.

Sometimes people may be responding well to the side effects of their medication or they may feel like they have had enough of being on medication for so long. If you are one of these people and you want to stop taking medication it is advisable to speak to your General Practitioner (GP) first before coming off prescribed medication.

It’s important to be aware that your GP should always be the first point of contact and in case of an emergency dial (999 – UK). It’s important to have the conversation with your GP about your views on your medication. Further discussing why you would like to come off medication and if they can support you with this process. Coming off medication with a immediate effect may be detrimental to your health, as this should be a process (weaning off medication) with the support form your GP.

Please speak to your GP of you what to come off your medication. Try not to make any immediate actions before, consulting with a medical professional. I hope that this post was able to help or inspire you, in relation to seeking help for medication. Shar x

How to take care of My Self Care

Attending to your Self-care is an action that you can do to take care of yourself, physically, mentally, spiritually. This can be achieved by yourself or from the help of others. Paying attention to your self care needs can protect, maintain and improve your Mental and Physical wellbeing.

Attending to your self-care needs can sometimes be difficult particularly when you are experiencing a Mental Health difficult. It is common for people to have a lack of interest in pleasurable activities which can be a form of attending to your self care needs along with other elements. Suffering from a Mental Health difficulty can be daunting and very distressing and you may commonly feel like “what’s the point.” Commonly when you are feeling low or anxious, you may have a negative view about yourself, others and the world around you. By practicing self care this can help towards making you feel better, even if in the moment you may not be feeling up to it. Although this will take practice and consistency.

If you are someone who would like some tips on how you can manage your self-care needs, below are some tips on how this can be achieved.

Step 1 – Identify what type of self-care need you want to take care of e.g. Do my hair

Step 2 – Ask yourself if you know how to achieve this, for example

When – Monday 1pm

Do I need any help – Yes my sister has offered to help me

Where – At home

Duration – 2 hours (roughly) How – Washing my hair

Do I need any equipment – I need to buy / use shampoo and conditioner

Step 3 – Turn what you want to do into a goal to help motivate you e.g. My goal this week is to “Wash my Hair”

Step 4 – Break down this goal into manageable steps (easiest – most difficult) e.g. I need to wash my hair, blow dry my hair etc

Step 5 – Attempt to try this goal

Step 6 – Reflect how this has made you feel

Step 7 – Practice this and try to complete another self care goal.

Breaking down these steps may not be necessary but can help make things seem more manageable for yourself, if you find things like this quite stressful.

I hope that these steps were able to help you with trying to attend to your self-care needs, let me know how you got on or feel free to share any tips you may have yourself. I would love to also hear your ideas.

Shar x

Culture Minds

CultureMinds is my baby my business which I have just started in 2019 but I’ve always had the idea since God knows how long.

Aim :

1. To Help normalise conversations about Mental Health

2. To encourage people to share their story about Mental Health and not feel afraid to speak out.

3. To build stronger minds through early intervention planning

4. To help towards getting Mental Health taught within the national curriculum in schools. Mental Health can occur at any age within your lifespan and it’s important to be aware of the symptoms, help on offer, triggers and so much.

Why :

For the Culture – Within the Black community mental health is not often spoken about and often hidden away from friends, families or loved ones. This needs to stop because lives are being taken away by something that has a cure.

We all have Mental Health but that doesn’t mean we all have a Mental Health difficulty. However those who do suffer with difficulties often feel shamed or scared to seek help, which is the reason why stigma is wrongly attached because people have a lack of understanding and misconception about Mental Health. The more we speak about common Mental Health problems the more we can help one another become stronger.

How :

Speaking you your favourite people (can’t say too much yet but it’s going to be amazing)

Where :

The content will be published on YouTube very soon. Promotion will be on Instagram

I believe in the “Domino effect” once we can get one person speaking we can get EVERYONE speaking and not feeling afraid to share their story and let their voice be heard

Below is where you can find me on my social media platforms :

Instagram – ask_shar & culturemindsuk

Twitter – AskSharnade

Hope you all enjoyed this post x